I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
