Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
