I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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