1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
