I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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