if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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