i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
