Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't deserve a penis
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dick very happy bro
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
