tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I understand Curling. That high.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
