I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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