He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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