Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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