It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
