I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
