would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
