white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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