I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
