i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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