Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
