last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
