She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
