is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
