I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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