Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
