He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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