Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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