Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
