I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
