I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
