Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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