PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
