I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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