I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
