white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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