The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
