And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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