I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
