turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize