Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

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(850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury http://tfl.nu/f86j

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(480): View more from Arizona

you are hot. that is all.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

who is this?

(480): View more from Arizona

the delivery driver from silvermine.

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(480): you are hot. that is all. (1-480): who is this? (480): the delivery driver from silvermine. http://tfl.nu/dvq3

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(708): View more from Illinois

we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon

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(708): we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon http://tfl.nu/1ry8

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(845): View more from New York

We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

(1-845): View more from New York

Who won mens moguls?

(845): View more from New York

That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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(845): We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously? (1-845): Who won mens moguls? (845): That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude. http://tfl.nu/8mik

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(407): View more from Florida

the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?

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(407): the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day? http://tfl.nu/2o1l

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(407): View more from Florida

Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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(407): Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing. http://tfl.nu/4f2e

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(408): View more from California

worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

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(408): worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum http://tfl.nu/fisn

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle

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(860): i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle http://tfl.nu/gxwa

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name

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(910): I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name http://tfl.nu/jjfc

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(219): View more from Indiana

I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall

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(219): I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall http://tfl.nu/2grv

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"

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(412): there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty" http://tfl.nu/qrhn

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(217): View more from Illinois

who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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(217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o

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(760): View more from California

I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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(760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10

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(540): View more from Virginia

I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo

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(540): I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo http://tfl.nu/4u98

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(816): View more from Missouri

I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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(816): I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night. http://tfl.nu/an2g

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