my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?