What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes