I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize