her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me