Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
