I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
