i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
