I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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