it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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