I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
