I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
