Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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