My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
