She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
