I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
either way he was missing a nipple.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
