mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
