you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
