Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
