I want to stick my p in your. b.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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