everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
worst night to have a conscience
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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