hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
40s are totally the cure
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
