He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
