Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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