At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
