I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
