another moral hangover. fuck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
