Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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