I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
